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Given that every other TV show these days features members of the public performing not quite like trained monkeys but more like average humans with personality disorders (sometimes the disorder being simply that they don't have them: The Hills returns tonight!), it's no surprise that a school has been founded to help aspiring reality stars realize their dreams. At the New York Reality TV School you can learn how to be a more tantrum-prone, attention-seeking, outrageous and, if you know what's good for you, bisexual version of yourself.

Ad Age reporter Andrew Hampp went along for the three hour crash-course and learnt the "essentials" of reality TV, including boiling down your audition pitch to 30 seconds and spotting "moles," individuals deliberately planted to provoke drama. The school itself is being pitched as a reality show by its owner, which will hopefully create a rift in the time-space continuum by which the entire genre will be swallowed in one gulp. Either that or VH1 will have something on standby for when Hogan Knows Best finally goes off the air.