Entertainment Weekly provides one its handy listicles this weekend, in two parts. "50 Most Vile Movie Villains" wisely hands first place to Darth Vader and runner-up to Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But after that, the selections grow maddening. First of all, Halloween's Michael Myers is nowhere on the list! And, please, Michael could-and would-totally gut the hell out of any villain anywhere, ever.

Jennifer Jason Leigh's Hedy Carlson from Single White Female grabs a respectable fourth spot, and there is just the most adorable shot of her sitting on the floor looking all pouty and vulnerable. (Aww, it's okay, Crazy-you can stab me in the head with a stiletto heel anytime; I'll still love you!) But is she scarier than Norman Bates? And there are fifty freaking spots on the list. Why do Hannibal Lecter and Jame Gumb have to share one? "But they're both in Silence of the-" Shut it, EW, you're pissing me off here!