Professional "pick-up artist" Mystery made the entire country feel slimy and gross with his VH1 show on how to pick up women by being disgusting. Now, of course, he's going to cash in on his infamy with absurdly-priced seminars across the country, hyped in the most douchey way conceivable. One email recipient said Mystery and his cohorts Matador and Lovedrop are asking for "thousands of dollars" to "expose you to highly sensitive information" on how to date the "hottest... girls on the planet." They've even set up a website with some kind of satellite imagery, no doubt intended to illustrated a building storm of douches soon to be unleashed on an unsuspecting world, plus a countdown timer for their "World Tour" of three continents, five countries and, supposedly, eight cities. The best part is still their email, excerpted after the jump.

Hey Matt...



I confess, I am little ticked off. Ticked off about this one particular "conspiracy"... and have been for a long time... and even more so since I've been working with Mystery on a day-to-day basis. Please forgive the 'cloak and dagger', but I'm going out on a limb by telling you this…



I don't know how "they" have done it… How do "they" keep you from dating the hottest, smartest, most intelligent girls on the planet...



How do "they" manage to subtly convolute the subject of attraction, dating and seduction, whilst going relatively unnoticed in their sneaky ways? It's almost like "they" have found a way to siphon the hottest girls "off the market"...



But "they" have done so for long enough...I feel that now it's YOUR turn...



How do I know all this? Who are "they"? "They" are television. Hollywood moviemakers. Other pick-up training companies (the ones that rip off Mystery's theories circa 2004). Even your friends and parents are —unknowingly!— in on the conspiracy!



The next few minutes will expose you to highly sensitive information... But if you're not interested in dating the hottest, most attractive, most "put-together" girls on the planet, like Mystery does, do NOT read any further!

[Matt Dentler]