It's 1986 again! I feel like listening to "Hip to Be Square" or "Lady In Red," or going to see Aliens or Farrah Fawcett in that grim dud Extremities. Oh, and I suppose they also had blind items in 1986. Let's hope because I have six, count 'em six, waiting for you after the jump. Overprotective moms, seductive publicists, and banana-hammocks all await you. Rock me, Amadeus!

1) "Which journalist is being hyperprotective of her new baby? The bundle of joy, recently delivered via surrogate, is kept in a sterile room and visitors are required to shower before seeing the infant." [P6]

2) "Which young publicist was about to be fired by a restaurateur, but saved her job by seducing the owner's partner?" [P6]

3) "Which portly husband of a superwealthy, older woman misbehaves when his wife leaves their Palm Beach mansion? The cad, who wears a 'banana hammock'-type bathing suit, likes to expose himself to attractive female houseguests and have them take photos of him." [P6]

4) "Which delusional celebrity begged his lady to let him bed another woman - the night before their wedding? There's no question about it, this lanky fella has no shame." [Mirror]

5) "This is an A list couple with an A list lifestyle. If I give you their description it would give it a way. Does A+ name recognition help? Anyway they haven't been doing much lately. Oh, they make noise and it appears as if they are doing something, but in reality. Nothing. No money is coming in but lots and lots is flooding out. It has got so bad that the couple only have one employee. One. I take that back. They do have a gardener at one of their houses, but not for long. They are trying to sell that property and just about everything else they own. I don't know if anyone has said it out loud, but the bankruptcy word has been whispered. She wants to call some famous friends for a loan but his pride won't let her do it." [CDaN]

6) "Speaking of financial messes, this other celebrity couple is in even worse shape. Actually the male half of the couple is a celebrity in the sense that he is married to the female actress who was once at the very top of the world and has slowly, but steadily just about crashed to the bottom. In one more year, people will be "who?" It has got so bad financially with their raging drug habit and his legal problems that they have started making sex tapes which are going to be "stolen." Outrage will follow and then hopefully enough money from the distributor to last until she can find someone willing to pay her what she used to get for acting." [CDaN]