British newspapers keep saying that David Gest, the probably-gay producer and ex-husband of vodka bottle-tossing harridan Liza Minnelli, has herpes. And it's just not true! (Or so says Gest). The peculiar, face-stretched fellow has never had the disease and certainly never said that crazy old Liza with a Z (singer, actress, gurgling legend) gave the disease to him, as was reported. Because, of course Liza didn't give him herpes. That would imply that they'd touched each other's privates. Which, of course, never happened. As they are respectable publications, the papes that printed the stories, The Times and The Independent dutifully printed corrections, one a month or so after the other. So, case closed. But the mystery of Gest's curiously enduring fame in the UK remains. The printed corrections are after the jump.

In Weekend TV (times2, May 5) we incorrectly suggested that David Gest had been given herpes by Liza Minnelli on their wedding night. This was entirely wrong. David Gest has never had the disease and has never actually accused Ms Minnelli of giving it to him. We apologise to Mr Gest for any embarrassment or distress caused by this mistake.

[Times via Regret the Error]

In The Independent Extra on 18 March 2008, we incorrectly suggested that David Gest had alleged that Liza Minnelli gave him herpes. Mr Gest has told us, which we accept, that he did not make any such allegation and that he has never had the disease. We apologise to Mr Gest for any embarrassment or distress caused by this mistake.

[Independent via RTE]

So, one last time: he never had the disease. He did, though, get beat up by Liza Minnelli.