'Indy' Proves There's Some Country For Old Men
The long Memorial Day weekend may be gone, but we'll always have fond memories of the holiday box office to warm our hearts:
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — $151.1 million
Defamer's groundbreaking Indiana Jones PlunderWatch Projections Tracker™ was just about pinpoint precise once we factor in the the +/- $9.5 trillion margin of error, calculating the triumph of America's archaeological/Commie-killing sweetheart in real time over its five-day opening frame. Its four-day total was no less impressive, tallying $126 million from Friday to Monday, while the worldwide total of $311 million had George Lucas stroking his massive under-chin on his Marin County deck, conjuring inspiration for his and Steven Spielberg's forthcoming fifth installment, Indiana Jones and the Hard-to-Insure Septuagenarian Star.
2. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian — $28.6 million
Disney insiders cooly told us this morning they're not worried about the 58% drop from Caspian's opening weekend or the fact that the four-week old Iron Man almost surpassed it for second place overall. When asked about the shrieks and cries audible in the background, we were rebuffed: "What? Oh, that? It's nothing. Andrew Adamson stopped by, is all — he's telling us about the next Narnia movie. Anything else?"
3. Iron Man — $25.6 million
The comic hero bumped his cumulative take to $260 million since May 2, which means Marvel Studios' troubled companion film The Incredible Hulk can draw literally nobody to the theater and still be an official success. Congrats to David Maisel and the whole team!
4. What Happens in Vegas — $11.1 million
Fox's "shite date movie" counterprogramming trick worked like a charm once more against the action/fantasy epics encircling it, but look for the "late Sydney Pollack cameo" wave to lift Made of Honor to a resurgent weekend ahead.
5. Speed Racer — $5.2 million
If the box office was The Gong Show, a cackling Chuck Barris would have pointed this sorry act offstage two weeks ago. Alas.
