What fun would the Internet be if we let socially awkward people onto it? Here are five things that everyone does on Facebook even though they're awkward or annoying. These rules are more nuanced than "don't add me to your zombie game;" I assume we've all added those people to a special friend group labeled "MySpace orphans."

1. Who the hell are you again?
Who is Dirk Funk from Germany? Good thing Facebook tells me we have no friends in common so I can reject him right away. Of course, if you're worthwhile to talk to I hope you're not trying to meet people through Facebook but are actually e-mailing or IMing them or maybe going to a goddamn party. But on the off chance that you know I should meet you and yet you choose to use Facebook to do so, use that messaging feature and tell me who you are because I'm not clicking your sorry-ass profile photo.

2. Deal with rejection.
Many of us (including Gawker founder Nick Denton) are so loath to reject some people that we leave them unresolved on our invitations page. I usually clear out my invitations when I'm drunk; it makes it easier to hit "Ignore."

So please remember whom you asked to friend you, and if they don't reply, don't invite them again. So far I've had about eight people add me again after I rejected them, and in that time I never had an actual conversation with them, not even on IM.

3. Don't slobber all over me.
Just one social network at a time, thanks; unless we really got off when we met (and we have met before Facebook right?) I don't want to be your Flickr buddy and Facebook friend and LiveJournal follower all at once. Don't fill my wall with YouTube clips. Just chill and play it slow.

4. Don't unfriend me after an argument.
"The 'people you should know' list on Facebook," said blogger Rex Sorgatz, "is actually a list of people you hate." Try it, it's true! But it's also a great way to see who just de-friended you. After an argument at a party, my friend Ryan decided I did not deserve to write on his Funwall. Of course because he and I share all the same friends, as soon as he de-friended me he popped up on my "people you may know" list. Classy! Now instead of a disagreement we could resolve, we have an awkward official end to the friendship.

Same goes for relationships; wouldn't it be decent of you to tell your close friends first about your breakup, and not 300 acquaintances?

5. Don't worry about it.
[Gawker story removed because god let's not go into it]

Don't bring Facebook into the real world. Unless your girlfriend dumps you through Facebook status, which violates rules #6-11.