Well-meaning people and confused people keep saying or typing the phrase “All Lives Matter.” Then they are surprised that other people get angry about it.

In Manhattan, the NYPD will no longer throw you in jail for asking a fellow citizen for a little help. Wow—civilized!

It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.

There may come a time when you want to strike up a conversation with a stranger, for whatever reason: sex, companionship, money, boredom. Here is the rule: You get two questions.

The classless douchebag best man who set down his Corona and took a knee to propose marriage to the maid of honor at someone else’s wedding—right in front of the bride and groom—may not be quite as classless as he appeared in the photo that set a thousand mouths afroth earlier this week. His new fiancée is the bride’s sister, and she told the New York Daily News she was the only one in the wedding party who didn’t know what was coming.

Most reasonable people take the decline of spray-on deodorant as a mark of progress. Not so the Unilever Corporation, which has plans to revive spray-on deodorant as a popular item. If you must use this hissing, scented menace, at least do it with proper courtesy.

In the midterm elections, the United States people sent the message: No, we don't like you, Baracks Hussein Obama. Shockingly, our "Commander in Chief" has now extended an enormous metaphorical middle finger—to the whole wide world!

It was sort of interesting to learn a little while ago that people have decided to start attaching huge significance to whether or not a sentence in a text or chat or other short message ends in a period. Sort of.

An easy way to be a better person:

I cannot believe we are still talking about this.

A United Airlines flight from Newark to Denver had to land in Chicago Sunday because two passengers were acting like entitled dicks and air travel is fucking awful. At the center of the fight: A device called the Knee Defender, which prevents the seat directly in front of you from reclining.

Kendall Jenner, professional Kardashian, passed the Turing Test this weekend by leaving a 30 percent tip on an expensive meal, proving herself indistinguishable from an actual human customer. Inexplicably, no one has presented her or her creator, artificial intelligence pioneer Kris Jenner, with a goddamn medal.

I was in the locker room at my gym today and I saw a woman blow-drying her pubic hair with the communal hair dryers. She was trying to be surreptitious about it, but I totally saw her and I was totally grossed out. In the end I didn't say anything to her, but I'm wondering if I should have. Blow-drying your pubes with a communal hair dryer: Is that okay?

About a year ago I moved into an apartment with two other long-haired girls and we made a cleaning schedule to keep everything in order. A few months in, I started getting complaints that when it was my turn to clean the bathroom, I did not remove the hairs that accumulate on the drain. I explained that this was because none of those hairs are actually mine as we all have very different hair colors and I have always had the habit of picking up to throw away my hairs every time I shower. (I also think that they don't clean other things properly but have never said anything because worse than being complained to about petty things is complaining about them). I quickly realized that both roommates were very spoilt and continued to believe that I should clean up after them, so I decided to oblige to their requests and start clearing the drain. Using their toothbrushes.

Can I tell my 14-year-old neighbor to stop singing because she sucks?

I made my husband a birthday party and invited his friends and colleagues. I prepared a bunch of my best dishes including a chocolate cake I have perfected for the past 4 years from various recipes. Now let me tell you about the cake: It's perfection, moist, rich and the frosting achieved the delicate balance for it to be delicious to chocoholics and those of us that aren't. Everyone went crazy for it and now my husband asked me to give him my recipe to pass it to the wife of a colleague. Normally I wouldn't mind—I've given my recipes to people in his office—but this lady rubs me off the wrong way. Ever since I met her there's something about her I can't explain that makes me dislike her very much and I can't imagine she cares that much about me given that we have barely spoken and are not even Facebook friends. So now I don't want to give her my recipe since she didn't even bother asking me personally, but my husband says I'm being childish and should just share it. Is that okay?

So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?

Do you own a backpack? Do you wear it, on your back, in public? Here are a few helpful reminders about the nature of your backpack and your role as a member of the human species.

Flying is easy. One would think.

I moved into the second bedroom of a house owned by a woman my age. It quickly became apparent that she was anorexic, controlling, and neurotic.