Oh, hey, all three U.S. presidential candidates will stoop to a level of pandering heretofore only imagined by theoretical physicists and appear on tonight's episode of World Wrestling Entertainment's Raw. John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama were all invited to appear in the ring, and they were all wise enough to decline. Still, they happily taped appearances, to air tonight on USA. "WWE has tried to get the presidential candidates to square off before," according to Broadcasting & Cable. "It was unable to arrange an arm-wrestling match between George W. Bush and Al Gore in 2000." Thank god things are different this time around. [Broadcasting & Cable] Update: OH GOD IT'S WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT. "DO YOU SMELL WHAT BARACK IS COOKING?" He actually says this. Seriously. Clip after the jump.