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Despair is in order for those of you who balance out your vague sense of revulsion at visiting corporate Death Star and coffee shop Starbucks by telling yourself, "Well, at least I don't have to talk to anybody there." The company is now seriously considering promoting conversation in its stores. And the sunny, terrible people who frequent the Starbucks public suggestion factory, MyStarbucksIdea.com, think it's a "great idea!"

The original suggestion that started this terrible ball rolling, and which has garnered almost 65,000 positive votes from insane people so far, said in part:


My idea is simple - Starbucks does a lot of things well - good coffee, interesting locations. One of its challenges though I believe is to create a sense of conversation and community within its locations.

One way of doing this would be to use the power of media and wireless new media in particular to foster a sense of conversation about the arts, current events, etc. In other words to stimulate Starbucks patrons that wish to interact as part of a 21st century "cafe society" such as they have in Europe traditionally - people gathering together to discuss the arts, world events and culture.

Now the company is exploring the possibility of teaming up with an online interview program with "fascinating guests," which would presumably broadcast out of Starbucks, as a first step. This somehow will get people talking in the stores, I guess about the fascinating guests in the online program they are all simultaneously watching on their laptops. On a positive note, perhaps people trying to talk to you while you huddle in a corner in Starbucks will, like an alcoholic picking up a crack cocaine habit, hasten the inevitable demise of this flawed institution.

Don't talk to me.