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Google's best hope in the Yahoo takeover battle is to have nothing happen. A Yahoo, weak but independent, providing just enough competition to keep antitrust cops off Google's back, is the best outcome. To assure that, CEO Eric Schmidt has turned to the unlikeliest of layabouts: investment banker Frank Quattrone, who's trying to make a comeback after having an obstruction-of-justice conviction overturned. How frustrating for the hard-charging Quattrone: In this assignment, he'll only succeed by assuring that a deal doesn't come to fruition.