Last night's Hills quadrille was all about cross-pollination. Lauren "LC" Conrad and Stephanie Pratt continued to circle each other, tipping their hats, and going to birthday parties. Well, it was Lauren's birthday party specifically, and she, in resplendent pointy party hat, kindly invited Stephanie and her friend Roxy (throw up all over the place what a dumb name). At the party, Lauren was drunk in the way that my sister gets, all kindness and big declarations. "Seriously, you're a good person," she slurred to Stephanie. Aww. Meanwhile, old Fauna and Merriweather, Audrina and Lo, looked on skeptically. It's always amusing to watch the supporting players on this show start to get cagey about their possible airtime (though, maybe Lo's never really cared all that much). Remember the poor, desperate attempts of Jen Bunny to stay on the show? This series' depiction of daily anxieties and injustices continues.

Over in Heidi and Spencer territory, Spence's "Operation Win Heidi Back" began. He employed the genius strategy of talking callously about maybe dating another girl, letting Heidi get upset, then leaving the condo (again.) Heidi molded her Silly Putty face into a state of woe and befuddlement and Spencer returned to the sewers, where he lives with Linda Hamilton. I mean! To his sister's apartment where he dumped his shit all over the place and then demanded that she clean up after him. (Spence: "When's the maid coming?" Stephanie: "You're looking at the maid." Spence: "Well she needs to do something about those sheets on the couch where I'm sleeping." Stephanie: [in her head] "Oh, boyyyyys.")

And then, of course, we began to see the producers' indelicate hands meddling in the scene. You see, not only has LC been spending time with She-Pratt, but then, zoh mah gah, Audrina ran into Heidi at a clurrrb. Heidi extended a little olive branch, which Audrina accepted civilly, if reluctantly. Later on she let Heidi come over to pick up some old stuff, most notably a gaudy mirror. Lauren, upon hearing the news, was not terribly happy. "Just be careful..." (the title of last night's second episode) she said, obviously upset (and in the way that you'd talk to someone about a scary rollercoaster.) Earlier, Spencer freaked out on Stephanie for the perceived betrayal, which got her upset ("Stop making yourself cry," he said kindly). Then, when Heidi got more details about LC and Stephanie's budding friendship, she just couldn't understand why LC could accept Spencer's sister, but not his girlfriend (because of the history, duh). Stephanie argued that she and Lauren have "fashion in common." Heidi keened "But every girl has fashion in common." She has a point! Girls do wear clothes! I have to admit, though, that I felt a genuine pang of sympathy for poor disappearing Heidi. But then I snapped to and realized that the producers were slowly pulling off a wonderful, disjointed reunion of sorts. The Hills thrives on the Heidi/ Lauren dynamic, and it had been slackening a bit. But now, with these awkward new "friendships" being forged, everything's back in the center ring.

Oh, and I forgot the biggest detail of the night. At the beginning? What was playing? Fucking Tokio Hotel. They have arrived.

What did I miss? What of Brody's uneventful return? Is this show going anywhere, or are we forever going to be dreaming of an intangible Moscow?

(Sorry no clip. The video department at Gawker HQ is going through some new-office hiccups.)