Odious Attorney Couple Settles Asinine Smoking Lawsuit

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Hamilton Nolan

04/08/08 08:28AM

Filed to: Neighbors

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Jonathan and Jenny Selbin—two people who deserve one another—are both attorneys and the worst neighbors you could possibly imagine. In February, they filed a lawsuit against their neighbor for smoking in her own apartment, taking her to court even after she bought air purifiers because her smoking was "endangering" their sensitive child. The note they slipped under her door at the time read "As you may not be aware, we are both lawyers and both litigators, for whom the usual barriers to litigation are minimal." That bit made them the runaway winners of our February ""Which snippet from the Times Real Estate section makes you most want to assault the person in the story?" contest. Now, the suit has been settled [NYT]—and the Selbins are concerned about their own reputation.

Their neighbor agreed to install air filters and use a smokeless ashtray. The Selbin's suit did not even allege that the smoke was coming into their apartment, just the common hallway in the building. Once publicity about the suit got out, a company called Aerus donated the air filters for free.

Attorney, plaintiff, and terrible rat bastard Jonathan Selbin hopes that this messy affair doesn't make him look bad:

Mr. Selbin indicated on Monday that the publicity surrounding the lawsuit had not been pleasant. "I am confident you will find a way to make us look like terrible people all over again for insisting on such an onerous thing," he said in the e-mail message.

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

anongg Unfun 10/22/13 10:37AM

there is a reason why debate teams are told to never use slippery slope arguments... "The problem with this reasoning is that it avoids engaging with the issue at hand, and instead shifts attention to extreme hypotheticals."

Also, cigarette smoke can cause emphysema.

Secondhand smoke can trigger asthma episodes and increase the severity of attacks.

Secondhand smoke is also a risk factor for new cases of asthma in preschool aged children who have not already exhibited asthma symptoms.

See:

http://www.lung.org/associations/s…

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/slippery-slope

http://www.webmd.com/lung/copd/what…

Unfun Hamilton Nolan 04/08/08 10:55AM

@b4nt4: But there's the whole slippery slope argument. I, for one, don't eat meat, or onions. So what if my neighbor loved to cook smelly beef with onions constantly? Do I have a right to demand they not cook smelly food because I'm hypersensitive and the smell makes me sick? Beef can be considered a vice because it is bad for you. Can I demand that my neighbors not have keg parties because I don't want to smell stale beer? Alcohol is also a vice. Cigarette smoke smell might bother neighbors, but if the smoke isn't actually entering your apartment, you can't argue that's damaging your health. We can't go around modifying our behavior to appease hypersensitive neighbors.

I think people need to leave other people the fuck alone, or not choose to live in NYC or any other highly populated area.

BettyCrocker Hamilton Nolan 04/08/08 09:30AM

@b4nt4: Agreed. But! How about being, I dunno, a little more neighborly about it?

"Hi! I'm sure you don't realize it, but when you smoke it comes out into the hallway and makes it kind of unpleasant for our family. Do you have a fan or an air purifier? Do you want one of ours? We don't want to interfere with your life, but we all are in close quarters and we'd appreciate it if we could work this out."

As opposed to:

"You filthy old whore with your goddam cancer sticks! Look at you, dying of cancer and trying to take us all with you! Well, no one is going to sicken my little Elijah! We'll sue, and sue again until you're so broke that you're picking butts out of the ashtrays at The Plaza and torching 'em up! You smokin' whore!"

b4nt4 Hamilton Nolan 04/08/08 01:56PM

@Unfun: well first, the smell of beef and onions or beer cant cause cancer or emphazema (sic, no spell check on this old beast) so i mean come on, that is a really lame argument. second, most leases specify for no smoking in common areas (which landlords have a duty to keep clean and safe) so if it's wafting into the halls, that is a violation of the lease agreement. if that's not part of the building code, then the lawyer couple should have considered that before moving in. i even lived in a place with a lease that did not allow smoking inside our apartment.

third, you say they should just leave her the fuck alone, yet her smoke is obviously such a problem that it's not leaving them alone.

and i hate the if you dont like smokers you should leave NYC argument. since when are new york and other big cities only for smokers?

i agree with bettycrocker that they could have been more neighborly about it, and i havent read the whole story, maybe they were at first and she was like "fuck off."

it's become a more serious issue to me as i get older (and death looms) since every person in my family has died from a smoking related illness.

BettyCrocker Hamilton Nolan 04/08/08 09:36AM

There's mo'!

They introduced the lawsuit by slipping a note under the neighbor's door that read: "As you may not be aware, we are both lawyers and both litigators, for whom the usual barriers to litigation are minimal."

• In the complaint, they referred to the neighbor, Galila Huff, a quirky restaurant owner with a Chihuahua named Boo-Boo, as "evil."

• They complained that Huff had Boo-Boo urinate on their son's stroller in retaliation for their complaints.

• When ABC News pointed out that this was in fact New York City - "There are lots of chimneys, and exhaust fumes from cars, trucks, and buses. How pristine does the air have to be?" - Jonathan Selbin retorted, "Have you asked Ms. Huff how she would react if we put dog poison in the shared hallway?"

• They complained that the smoke in the hallway worsened when the weather was cold, because, they said, the neighbor must be shutting the windows then. How dare she.

• In at least two cases, Mr. Selbin ended e-mails by writing, "Period."

"Peeeeeeeriod!" *obscure Carrie reference