Rich Babies Run Thugs Out Of NYC!
"Now demographers say Manhattan is increasingly a borough of babies, and more and more of them are white and well-off." We've been saying that for years! But these demographers are talking about the actual kind of babies, ones that drool, whine, and live in expensive apartments, but are not the full grown adult versions. The Washington Post, in the cute way that it always hops on NYC trend coverage several months or years after it becomes passé up here, finds that Manhattan is no longer "an island of adult vices," home to "hustlers, runaways, addicts, murderers." No, today this gritty island enclave is being overrun by wealthy Caucasian toddlers!
Alphabet City in the East Village, which a decade ago was famous for its post-punk scene and its heroin markets, now is rife with hipster preschools for tattooed and pierced rock-and-roll parents, and baby boutiques that sell $112 onesies made by Italian designers.
Chelsea, once known for anonymous same-sex encounters on its piers, is now the site of the city's only Buy Buy Baby megastore, and of playground flirting among gay dads.
Central Harlem, whose preschools once catered almost exclusively to African American children, now has white students in its Montessori schools.
SHOCKING EXAMPLES OF RACE MIXING. What does a typical affluent white toddler have to say about all this?!
But young Theo Carlston is just happy to play at Citibabes, a SoHo club where parents can use the gym or have a manicure while their children take dance classes or French lessons.
"I'm hiding in my fort!" Theo shouted as his mother discussed the city her family is helping to create.