If you're looking to get wasted on national television, look no further than cocktail expert Martha Stewart. On last night's Conan, sweet-as-sugar Stewart instructed Conan on how to mix his own cocktails as a nod to O'Brien's Irish heritage. Though the very highbrow (and very femme) clover-adorned fruity drinks looked just scrumptious, Conan preferred chugging some gold old-fashioned Guinness instead. While it takes more than a few beers to eradicate all of that loveable trademark nervous energy that he brings to the Late Night set five nights a week, Martha tried her best to get Conan tipsy.

After drinking what Martha kindly notes is just foam, Conan begins triple-fisting all sorts of lushy drinks, starting with the beer, taking sips from some kind of rummy concoction, and ultimately drinking Jack straight from the handle. Our favorite moment? The wildly off-kilter Irish jig he breaks into after downing all the samples. Whether or not the drinks on set were merely water dosed in dye, we think Conan should start drinking on the job more often. Those high kicks take him from smartie beanstalk sexy to wild and crazy guy sexy in five seconds flat.