The Newly Sober Lindsay Lohan Thinks Eli Roth Is 'Too Old' To Copulate With
Lindsay Lohan doesn't have a rep for being the picky type when it comes to bumping uglies. Considering that her post-hab dating history includes flings with a snowboarder with debatable level of attractiveness and the perpetually frowny faced Sam Ronson, Lindsay has proven time and time again that it takes little more than the promise of a keybump or twelve to get inside her cokepants. Which is why we find ourselves cracking up at the way that leading Hollywood torture-pornographer Eli Roth's recent run-in with La Lohan went down, an encounter he detailed on his MySpace:
I was having drinks with a friend at the Beverly Hills Hotel the other night, and Lindsay Lohan walked by our booth with a girlfriend, checking us out. She then went out to the bathroom, turned around, came back and walked by us again, and mumbled to her friend "too old," and kept walking.
Now - she's absolutely correct - but it was still pretty fucking hilarious. Especially since we were in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel - where the average age is 97. If you look too old in there you're fucked! Time to hit the Botox!
We're really hoping that Lindsay Lohan reconsiders her blatant poolside diss of Eli Roth. After all, at this point in her tattered life, it certainly doesn't seem like a good career move to burn bridges with someone who could conceivably assist her comeback efforts. To that end, we'd like to suggest a photographic summit between Lohan, Roth and legendarily pervy photog Bert Stern. However, instead of recreating Marilyn Monroe's "Last Sitting" (been there), the three could orchestrate a tasteful reimagining of the famed beheaded Bijou Philips promo pix from Hostel 2.