The former editor (and current columnist) of the high-minded progressive mag writes about performance enhancers this month. Sadly, doesn't actually take them, as the cover line suggests. "That Major League Baseball continued to score game-winning profits despite the fears and suspicions noted in the margins of the official program (more players seen to resemble inflatable beach toys, mandatory and more frequent searches of antisocial urinary tracts, more pain-killing balms and ointments added to the roster of illegal contraband) testifies, as did Karl Rove's marketing of President George W. Bush, to the patriotism of the nation's sportswriters and the resilience of the American spirit." Steroids, hell &mdash that's the type of sentence written after a heavy dose of horse tranquilizers. [Harper's]