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Google has hired investment banker George Boutros to tell it what to do about Microsoft's bid for Yahoo. Back in 2001, Wired magazine profiled Credit Suisse M&A man George Boutros. "Boutros is known in M&A circles as a briefcase slammer," Adam Lashinsky wrote. "The kind of negotiator who will do whatever it takes to make the other guy blink." In this case, that means spending $9 billion or more of Google's ever-growing cash pile.

Google hired Boutros the day after Microsoft announced its $44.1 billion bid to buy Yahoo. His advice: Bid for just under 20 percent of Yahoo's stock at an inflated price.

According to TechCrunch, this is because "Google clearly wants to see the status quo continue in the search space, and would rather fight a fragmented market than a single, stronger, Microsoft/Yahoo."

Wrong. Google loves the merger. Or at least its mess: The thing's already turned hostile. Yahoo's board faces shareholder lawsuits. Microsoft shareholders are revolting, driving the bid ever lower. Yahoo talent is bolting for Google.

Boutros's job isn't to block the merger: It's to create maximum chaos. Google can't buy Yahoo, or even take over Yahoo search. Regulators would never allow it. But Boutros can slam a briefcase loudly enough to make Jerry Yang think they might.