We take a breather from all things Oscar to celebrate another star-filled reacharound: The premiere of "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. It was, of course, the response song to "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman's danceable, genre-hopping paean to cuckoldry, delivered as a Valentine to her sweetie on the 5th anniversary of his show.

And what "IFBA" lacks in the element of surprise, it makes up for in sheer sweep, as not since Northern Lights took to the studio for "Tears Are Not Enough" has such a dazzling constellation of entertainment superstars come together in song for such a worthy cause. We defy you to watch Cameron Diaz deliver that extremely obscene hand gesture, and not feel even a little bit compelled to pick up a phone and pledge your support, that our children will never see a world in which Kimmel isn't steadily giving the big one to Ben Affleck. (Or vice versa. Despite that title, Kimmel seems the bitch in this arrangement.)