Obama Sews Up Endorsement From All-Important Hulkamaniac Contingent
Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and vote for Barack Obama! Or so sayeth Hulk Hogan, who suplexed and then leg-dropped an unsuspecting Clinton camp on Jimmy Kimmel Live by pledging his allegiance and his vote to Obama. And although our experience in the art of campaigning begins and ends with our run for Student Council back in high school (which, we might add, was successful ... three times!), we're pretty darn sure that the Obama ticket could really benefit by awarding the Hulkster a spot on to their roster. Perhaps this is finally the way that Obama can silence the critics who claim he lacks experience in foreign diplomacy!
Think about it; not only did the Hulkster successfully crush the Communist Party and end the Cold War back in the `80s by defeating the evil tyrant Nikolai Volkoff, he also managed to run roughshod over Iran (The Iron Sheik), France (Andre The Giant) and, um, Uganda (The Ugandan Giant). If that doesn't make someone supremely qualified to at least serve as a United States ambassador abroad, then our name isn't Shirley Temple Black. And if you're looking for someone to deliver a balls-to-the-wall stump speech, we're hard pressed to think of anyone who can get a crowd pumped up faster than one Hulk Hogan ... BROTHER! Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go and finish off this bowl of Mr. T cereal.
UPDATE (6:03am): We just learned this piece originally aired in January. Our bad. Regardless of air date, our feelings on the issue remain consistent. Hulk for Veep!