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To celebrate the 5th anniversary of boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's ascension to ABC's late night throne, Sarah Silverman decided it was time to come clean—in song, unsurprisingly—about the torrid, fuck-filled affair she's been having with secretly devious Hollywood Nice Guy Matt Damon, who's quietly been delivering carnal payback for years of being Kimmel's sign-off joke ("Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," etc) in the form of erotic pillow fights, up-against-the-minibar penetrations, and Scrabulous-enhanced trysts with the cuckolded host's longtime partner.

We'll leave you to share in Kimmel's musical shame without further preamble; by the end of Silverman's impressively catchy confessional (note to striking WGA members: she says she wrote it in October!), you'll be more than ready to cast aside your guitar and get to the important work of fucking Matt Damon.