Pepsi Pays Justin Timberlake Rumored $2 Million To Undergo Painful Sterlization During Super Bowl
This Sunday, as you may have heard, is the Super Game, wherein the NFL attempts to atone for whatever heinous crimes its players have committed over the preceding year by providing America with an action-packed, four-hour festival of the most creatively ambitious, highest-budgeted advertainments your favorite corporations have to offer.
Realizing that the public can't possibility wait three more days to delight in the Hollywood-quality production in which they've obviously invested so much love, Pepsi has pre-debuted its 60-second mini-movie on the YouTubes, releasing blogspot-savvy fans from the agony of not knowing what Andy Samberg looks like in drag. Their marketing message, in our estimation, is both simple and effective: Our cola is so delicious that Justin Timberlake's genitals must be tortured. Over and over again. Enjoy, then consume.