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Here's what we know about the Gwyneth Paltrow Mystery Ailment Hospitalization Shocker currently shaking the celebrity-health-monitoring tabloid news establishment to its core: Usmagazine.com reports that the actress was admitted to the Mount Sinai Hospital in New York yesterday afternoon, "slumped over in a wheelchair pushed by [husband] Chris Martin. She looked not well." Then, at 6:30 p.m. a bag—clearly labeled "Gwyneth Martin"— arrived from a local organic produce store.

A call placed by Daily Intelligencer to the store resulted in an employee—clearly not versed on the practice of not commenting on their celebrity clientele's raw food dietary habits—revealing that Paltrow was undertaking a "five-day live-food fast," which involved the ingestion of nothing but salads and juices. Meanwhile, PageSix.com has obtained the last-known image of the Iron Man star prior to her mystery, possibly lettuce-induced hospitalization; taken that very morning, Paltrow looked so healthy as she jogged through Manhattan in an all-black winter workout outfit, possibly listening on her iPod to inspiring track "Yes!" from Coldplay's forthcoming album, "Prospekt." Developing...