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Of the many conspiracies swirling around Mrs. Kate Holmes-Cruise, none have provoked more heated debate lately—more so even than the one claiming she's L. Ron Hubbard's turkey-basted demon-child receptacle—than the question of her involvement in the New York City Marathon. (Our own voiced skepticism in a recent post instantly turned the Defamer comments section into a makeshift headquarters for the growing movement, where Grassy Stain and Magic Nipple theorists swapped information hungrily.) The mystery deepens after the jump:

An e-mail blast received today from usmagazine.com provided a link to an exclusive about the Mad Money star having registered for the Boston Marathon, and went on to suggest that strings had been pulled to get her in. All traces of the story have now disappeared from their website. Coincidence? Or was the post awakened in the dead of night to the dark inside of a pillowcase and the dread-inducing sound of unspooling duct tape, only to be shuffled into an awaiting van and never heard from again? Luckily, we managed to salvage the killed (!) story in time, which we reproduce for you below. Keep in mind that the same story is apparently currently on newsstands, so we're not exactly talking Woodward and Bernstein caliber reporting here. But still: Katie Holmes. The Boston Marathon. Do the math.

EXCLUSIVE: Katie Holmes Registers for Boston Marathon

Katie Holmes has signed on to run the Boston Marathon, Us Weekly reports in its new issue, on newsstands now.

The 29-year-old star of Mad Money — who recently said she was "so happy" for Tom Cruise's pregnant ex Nicole Kidman — had placed 34,193rd among 39,085 entrants in the New York City marathon (26.2 miles in about 5 hours and 30 minutes) on Nov. 4, which means she didn't qualify by merit for the April 21st race in Boston.

Runners in the Boston Marathon must have specific qualifying times. For Holmes' age group, that would mean finishing a previous marathon in 3 hours and 40 minutes.

The actress "received an exemption," a marathon insider tells Us, because race organizers "occasionally give out 'charity entrances.'"