"Heroes" could be replaced by Yahoo executives

This image was lost some time after publication.

Every geek's favorite show of the moment Heroes is set to expire in three episodes due to the Writers Guild strike. What will the twitchy geeks do without their superhero fix? Fortunately, we have a solution. Have you ever noticed that Yahoo vice president Jeff Weiner, rumored to be on the outs with new president Sue Decker, bears an uncanny resemblance to Heroes villain Sylar? Or that CEO and cofounder Jerry Yang could stand in for the cuddly, bespectacled Hiro Nakamura? That's right: Substitute the hit show's cast with Yahoo's management team, and let the boardroom drama play out. No script necessary.

"Heroes" could be replaced by Yahoo executives — This image was lost some time after publication.

Hiro Nakamura: The unimposing programmer who is forced to confront enemies and circumstances larger than himself. He's convinced he is a hero that can save the world. Has the power to manipulate the space-time continuum to travel through time.

Jerry Yang, founder and CEO: The unimposing founder who is forced to confront lagging performance and competitors larger than himself. He's convinced he is a proper CEO that can save the company. If he could travel through time, he could have purchased Google and Facebook, and never, ever said the company has a 100-day plan.

Claire Bennet, "The Cheerleader": The high school cheerleader may not be the central character of heroes, but much of the plot revolves around her. Is nearly indestructible because of her ability to regenerate.

Sue Decker, president: Decker may not have gotten the role of CEO, but the machinations within Yahoo revolve around her. No matter what is thrown at Decker, she always manages to survive and maintain a pivotal role.

Sylar: The villain of the series is hell-bent on destroying the world and has the ability to suck the powers of others.

Jeff Weiner, vice president, Network division: Once former CEO Terry Semel's golden boy, Weiner has been blamed for many of Yahoo's failures; Weiner has an uncanny knack for acquiring additional responsibilities within the company as others defect.

Matt Parkman: Externally, he's a normal cop who's frequently beaten by the superior powers of other Heroes, but his superpower allows him to overhear the thoughts of everyone around him.

David Filo: the forgotten cofounder takes a backseat to the other strong-willed executives, but he hears whispers all around him from complaining Yahoos.

Mohinder Suresh: The scientist may be central to unlocking the mysteries of the Heroes' powers. He often looks after the heroes despite lacking any powers of his own.

Ash Patel, vice president of platforms and infrastructure: This software architect could be central to unraveling the many disparate Yahoo properties to unlock a cohesive technology strategy, but he lacks meaningful power within Yahoo's bureaucracy. Not to mention a single clue, or the power, employees say, to show up to work before 10 a.m.

Niki Sanders: Has superhuman strength and a dual personality.

Jill Nash, chief communications officer: With the dwindling ranks in Yahoo's public relations department, it will take superhuman strength and a dual personality to handle Yahoo's employee morale and external press relations.

You know what? This is better than the TV show could ever be. Unlike Heroes where you know they'll eventually save the world, there's real suspense in whether or not Yahoo can save itself from total irrelevance.