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PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about West Wing alumni night at The Grove, when sanctimonious trolley rides are free!

In today's star-studded episode: Natalie Portman and Jason Schwartzman; Sandra Oh; Sean Penn; Ryan Phillippe, Eric Dane, and Ron Jeremy; David Spade; Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, and Joel Madden; Matthew Perry, Allison Janney, and Melissa Fitzgerald; John Krasinski and Rashida Jones; Brian Grazer; David Beckham; Michael Vartan; Terry O'Quinn; James Denton; Henry Winkler; Jenna Fischer and David Alan Grier; Adrian Grenier; Juliette Lewis and Tyler Denk; Kristen Schaal and Rhys Darby; Andy Dick; Suze Orman; Danny Bonaduce; and Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru.

· The wrong of my never having a celeb sighting at M Cafe de Chaya was righted on Friday when we saw the tiny and lovely Natalie Portman with a super cutie who appeared to be her BF. (Homeboy has a sort of Jude Law-esque pretty thing going on.) Then as I was driving away I caught a glimpse of them in the parking lot, where it turned out they ran into her recent co-star, the also diminutive Jason Schwartzman. Or maybe they had plans to meet there but someone messed up the time of lunch or something.

On my way home I drove past Sandra Oh in her Prius. Those Grey's folks are always out and about in Los Feliz and environs.

· Just was on a plane (sunday, around 12) from san fran to los angeles with sean penn. He was in united first class, and was very nice to everyone.

· McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy was leaving Dan Tana's as I was walking in last night (10/4). Eric Dane? Is that right? In the restaurant, Ryan Philllipppe was having dinner with some friends who looked famous but I couldn't place them. And later Ron Jeremy sat down across from us with some business-looking guys. He talked loudly on his phone for a good 15 minutes. C'mon Hedgehog, it's a nice restaurant —unless it was the Surreal Life producers wondering if you'd be OK bunking with Ponch and Mini-Me, the call could probably wait.

· Visitors from out-of-town and celebrity sightings usually go hand-in-hand, both because you're in trendier spots and because famous people just seem to smell the type of people who will be excited to see them eating their lettuce leaves. That's my best explanation for last Saturday (10/6), because it was a big one. First, lunch at Barney Greengrass, Mischa Barton walks by our table to a more private one in the back of the patio. She is tall, gorgeous and exceptionally well-dressed in person, which sorta makes me hate her. She is then followed by Joel Madden and Nicole Richie, who are short and very teeny (even her pregnancy bump is teeny!). Nicole was wearing a hoodie to hide herself, but Joel's rawker gear sorta stuck out like a sore thumb. Then at dinner at The Ivy that night, David Spade was either meeting the mother of his really hot and really young girlfriend or out with his sister and his mom. Not sure which, but he was a perfect gentleman, waiting for the ladies to use the bathroom and then helping them down the stairs. So a big thank you to these four for giving my mom an US Weekly-tastic trip to Los Angeles!

· Mon 10/8 just spotted Matthew Perry ambling down the main street in The Grove. He's surprisingly tall. And not bloated. He was walking with a shorter dude with long hair and a hat, think he had a coffee. Maybe he'll be in the same showing of the movie we're seeing & I can spy on him some more

....so Matthew Perry WAS in my movie at The Grove (8:20 Michael Clayton). So was an actress who used to be on The West Wing—she played CJ's assistant (Melissa Fitzgerald). Then, on our way out, we spotted a rather blonde Allison Janney by the fountain. She was with a bunch of friends and I think she was rockin' a cane. Go figure. So it was West Wing Night at The Grove (since Perry guest starred on a couple episodes)!

· Jim and Karen have not broken up — they're eating cupcakes and ham and brie sandwiches at Joan's for Sunday brunch. Rashida Jones has the "I'm dating a famous guy" act down — making sure John Krasinski's hat is pulled way down, the white V-neck shirt properly untucked, and is shielded from the gaze of the 3rd street public by positioning him away from the door and covering the blind side with backs to the rest of the diners. RJ clearly knows how to coddle a male star ... ordering the food, aggressively finding proper seating, etc.. They sat at the community table and it looked to be a cause for serious concern. RJ is pretty cool looking — severely moisturized olive skin, greenish-blue-something or other color eyes, knee high boots with a grey, slightly frumpy hipster dress, taller than I thought she would be (my expectations were low — for some reason I thought she was half midget) — and seemed like one of the boys, cracking jokes and laughing when expected to. Bravo. Krasinski — sporting huge, gigantic, monster, shield-your-eyes-white chopper teeth, a freakishly large smile, surprisingly tall and lanky — looks like a cartoon character, not a human being. It's impossible to state how ill fitted his mouth is to the rest of his head. It takes up about 50 % of the space above the neck. They were with two geeks.

· 10/6 Brian Grazer superproducing a few Double-Doubles at In-N-Out on Sunset and Orange with a friend and two kids. They walked across the drive-thru lane right in front of me and it was as the closest I've come to the rapture.

· Just got back from Mastro's tonight (10/7) and David Beckham was there with a couple of those cute little boys and an older couple. No Posh, though, unfortunately.

Also, last night (10/6) at Bar Lubitch we saw Michael Vartan. Big weekend!

· Flight from Burbank to Denver 9/28 saw James Denton (Mike Delfino, Desperate Housewives). Flight from Denver to Omaha (!?) saw the Fonz, Henry Winkler in first class. EARLY MORNING flight from Omaha to Denver on 9/30 saw Emmy winner Terry O'Quinn (Locke, Lost).

· Saw David Alan Grier at the Burbank Ikea on 10/7 with a beautiful, pregnant Asian lady. Looked like he was there as a favor, like it probably wasn't his preferred shopping venue. Walking through housewares, same Ikea same day, was Pam from the Office, aka Jenna Fischer. She looked a lot happier to be there.

· Belated sighting...I visited your fine city the weekend of Sept 22nd-24th. Saturday afternoon we crossed paths with Adrian Grenier immediately upon arrival at the Roosevelt valet. He seemed nice enough when confronted with some fawning, spray-tanned admirers (Older man: "Excuse me, but my son is such a huge fan!" Older woman: "We're ALL huge fans!"). Around 2pm on Sunday we saw him again (!) when we were parked on Maltman off Sunset, readying a list of apartments to check out. He was walking ahead of his blond girlfriend (google says her name is Melissa Keller), but talking to her. She was far enough behind him that he looked all crazy, talking to himself. I think they had just had brunch at Madam Matisse, red-sweatered dog in tow. They drove away in a silver prius. I thought it was funny that his curly mane matched his surrounding location. All groomed & shiny at the Roosevelt, then disheveled in Silver Lake. Wacky.

· On a Sunday spent going into random open houses, stopped by one on Bronson in Beachwood Canyon that was way out of my price range. As I walked around I heard the grating, nasal voice of Juliette Lewis and, sure enough, Juliette was scoping out the place with one of the model guys from The Amazing Race a couple seasons ago, who my friend has ascertained is Tyler Denk. Apparently they are dating? Or maybe he is considering joining The Church and she's being a good sport and showing him places in close, inescapable proximity to the Centre... Hmm... apparently I have been informed by my friend that Tyler Denk and Juliette Lewis were there independently of one another, although that's not necessarily what it looked like to me.

· At the Brewery Art Walk downtown on Saturday, I saw Rhys Darby and Kristen Schaal (Murray and Mel from Flight of the Conchords) discussing art things with a studio owner. She had on a cute little black dress and looked lovely. He looked kind of hipster-ish with jeans, a button down shirt, a cap and a little scruffiness. The best part is that Kristen Schaal sounds exactly the same as she does on the show. Love them both and love the show!

· I saw Andy Dick at The Magic Castle last Wednesday (Oct 3). He was a total jerk. Talking loud during the shows, heckling the magicians...I heard someone say he was almost thrown out of the closeup room. At one point a magician told him (or maybe it was one of his equally rude entourage) to "shut up" and the audience applauded. When I left at about midnight he was at the bar. I'm always a little skeptical of stories about "bad star behavior," but I saw it for myself. Andy Dick is a dick.

· Sat., Oct 6, at the Eagle Rock Music Festival—Suze Orman (Oprah magazine money guru and middle America's 2nd or 3rd favorite lesbian) waving her hands in the air like she just didn't care and greeting friends—seemed happy and very financially secure.

· Saw Danny Bonaduce at the Farmer's Market Sunday evening (10/7). He appeared to be doing loops in an attention seeking way. I wanted to somehow let him know that I was a big fan of his Fairplay toss off, but I was sort of scared of the guy. Looks very tightly wound. He was with a woman with dark hair, not his gold digging ex though.

· Friday night at Akbar, I very drunkenly nearly walked into Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru, who seemed to be nervously surveying his environment and suggesting something to his companion along the lines of, "Let's go...over...there...Away from this person drunkenly examining my plastic surgery scars two inches from my face."