Eric Schaeffer, the world's worst man, the man who cannot understand why no woman will marry him, the jerkiest jerk in jerk town, is on his book tour to support his opus, "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single"! Our Special Correspondent For Sexy Midwest Trends report things are going poorly: "I just walked through the Barnes and Noble on the first floor of my office building in Chicago (it's the DePaul University book store) and Eric Schaeffer had just finished reading to a group of about ten people next to the revolving doors. I noticed one large-breasted, blonde gal (very fake looking) and a ton of dudes who looked exactly like him. It looked like a really awkward event." Hey, by the way, have you ever looked at his book's page on Amazon?

HEH.