A behind-the-scenes video for a Paper magazine covershoot featuring everyone's favorite once-a-week cupcake-binger, Andy Samberg, teased us with the promise of probing insights into the precise length and girth of his legendary, giftwrap-penetrating member. But it was the off-camera sounds of subject-on-photographer tonsil hockey that really got our motors revving: a real-time lesbian conversion that fully cements Samberg's status as the reigning SNL heartthrob.