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Yesterday, we received a breathless report, subject heading: "What is going on?!!?," from an operative who described, quite vividly, a "fat white guy dressed in blue spandex, a fake black beard, blue double beer helmet, and [holding] a sign" standing outside of Paradigm's offices. Sadly, no photo was provided, and so we were left to our wild and colorful imaginations to fill in the blanks—and fill in we did, picturing an end-of-his-rope George Wendt doing whatever he deemed necessary to finally get his agent to return his calls.

As luck would have it, an open call for blurry digital evidence yielded the above treasure from our honorary Defamer Citizen Photojournalist of the Day. (Have we mentioned how much we love you guys lately? Because we do.) We have no doubt that the Hoboken Beach Diet—or the gripping screenplay based on this regimen—is poised for a major breakout, soon to be eagerly adopted by a body-conscious nation of wrestling and cheap-disguise fetishists who are finally ready to slim down to a more manageable size 48 waist.