Nicole Richie Could Incubate Her Maddenspawn In Paris's Old Cell
After Paris's lesson that "pokey" refers to more than just something you do with a Greek dude after the clubs close became a complete media clusterfuck, it was probably inevitable that Nicole Richie's legal drama would feel like sloppy seconds. Sure, her crime was more interesting — doping up her cramps like they were Corey Haim, and then getting duped by Glendale's otherworldly freeways — and there's that pregnancy wrinkle, yet her sentencing still had a been-there, done-that feel. And now comes news that she could even end up enslaved to the same burly, unwaxed inmate:
TMZ has learned Nicole Richie will do her time at the Lynwood jail — the place Paris Hilton called home for 23 days.
Richie had the option of serving her 90 hours at a "private jail." These facilities are nicer than Lynwood, for sure, but there's a downside. When an inmate does time at a private facility, they must serve out the entire sentence. At Lynwood, the Sheriff could turn a 4-day sentence into a revolving door, because of the overcrowding problem.
Even if Nicole didn't go in and out, she would do much less than 4 days. She could enter Lynwood late one evening (as Paris did) and she'd get credit for an entire day. On top of that, there's "good time" credit that would shave a significant portion of the sentence.
Man, prison rocks. It's like school, with all the extra credit they're handing out, getting sprung is practically a graduation, and then you get to turn the world on with your smile. At least Nicole knows now what she can look forward to: Next in her "Walk A Mile In Paris Hilton's Hand-Me-Down Shoes" Tour could be, "Depot: A Home Improvement Opera," in which Nicole stars alongside Stanley Tucci and one of the largely interchangeable High School Musical kids in a futuristic ode to rebuilding the world after the apocalypse, one well-chosen bathroom fixture at a time.