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Winona Ryder graces the cover of the upcoming issue of Vogue—at 35, inching perilously close to the "As Good As Dead" demographic briefly alluded to in the fashion bible's specially themed "Age Issue." In the accompanying interview, the actress finally addresses the embarrassing 2001 incident that launched countless "Free [First Name of Guilty Celebrity Famous Enough To Avoid Regular-People Justice]" t-shirts, i.e. being caught on security cameras turning Saks Fifth Avenue into a personal, unauthorized gifting suite:

"I didn't have this tremendous sense of guilt, because I hadn't hurt anyone," Ryder tells Vogue magazine for its August cover story. "Had I physically harmed someone or caused harm to a human being, I think it would have been an entirely different experience."

Her personal reaction, she says, was "I never said a word. I didn't release a statement. I didn't do anything. I just waited for it to be over." [...]

Ryder - who was convicted of grand theft - explains that life had been bumpy for her just before the arrest. "Two months prior to that, I broke my arm in two places, and the doctor, a sort of quack doctor, was giving me a lot of stuff and I was taking it at first to get through the pain. And then there was this weird point when you don't know if you are in pain but you're taking it."

Readers will be relieved to know that the "quack doctor" who hopped up the Reality Bites star on kleptomania-inducing goof pills—and provided Courtney Love with a painkiller buffet—has long since been relieved of his medical license. Still, the life of a recovering shoplifter is a constant struggle, and Ryder should feel grateful just to be able to say, "I paid for this pair of Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses today," praying all the while that tomorrow she isn't suddenly tempted to gnaw a plastic security device off a Gucci leather skirt in a Barney's changing room.