So how come we haven't heard about any of Bill Clinton's famous "bimbo eruptions" in the run-up to Hillary's coronation? English blog-news thing The First Post—and pretty much everyone else—wonders. After speculating that maybe a bum ticker has kept Bill's wandering wang at bay, the website suggests that Bill's under strict orders from Hill to keep it from getting out (both his wang and any news of its notorious activities). Clinton crank R. Emmett Tyrell, whose obsession with the former president approaches Peter Braunstein levels of mania, says the all-quiet on the breastern front is no accident.

The Clinton campaign lives in fear of a problem from the bimbos he's been picking up in retirement. Hillary has a constant patrol of informants on his tail. She has made a deal with him: next time he makes headlines with his amours, its splitzville, or worse.

Anyway, First Post notes that Bill has good reason to avoid the temptations that surely abound when one pals around with grocery store magnate Ron Burkle: Should Hillary win, she'll make him "her Ambassador to the World, and to millions of American voters and even more millions abroad." Think about how much untapped tail that would put him in touch with. We'll see the return of Big Willie yet.

Bill's been told: no more embarrassments [The First Post]