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· Court TV explores the explosive intersection of molesty elves, Dolly Parton, and dinner theater.
· A bullet to the head: the miracle cure for so many of life's little problems.
· Things have gotten so bad for ditzy famous people that they can hardly purchase a really cute Chinese handbag emblazoned with Commie slogans without human rights watchdog groups shitting all over them. Will the persecution never end?
· And you know what? If Clooney was walking around with one of those Commie-purses, we bet the press would just give him a free pass, what with all the Darfur stuff and whatnot.