Half MySpace and half Sims and all Second Life, Vice magazine's new vLES site handily exports the embarrassingly long death scene of the Lower East Side. Now you don't even have to venture out to Orchard to be surrounded by puking loud douchebags. The internet will bring you there!

Above what looks like a mid-90's VRML map—a little post-Tron!—the hapless reader is told:

What you are witnessing is a ridiculously-realistic virtual version of New York City's Lower East Side, a.k.a. the place where every angst-ridden, music-loving teenager (that means you, or maybe you a few years ago) dreams of running away to. This teensy neighborhood is so brimming over with cool bands, fun hangouts and bars, and pretty people that it can take about ten years to come out the other side once you move here... So vLES wants to send you there now to give you a head start. You can create a little person and then walk right into faithfully recreated virtual versions of legendary LES venues and see real bands play.... vLES is going to be so totally the opposite of boring, you don't even know.

Lame is the opposite of boring? You're right, Vice, we didn't know!