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Hoping to capitalize on the media attention being lavished upon the recent meltdowns of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan, billionaire reality television personality and premium-meats magnate Donald Trump is developing his next surefire hit for the downmarket Fox network, perhaps worried that The Apprentice partner NBC's oft-invoked obsession with "quality" might hamper the execution of his vision for the just-announced Lady or a Tramp. (Barely rejected original title: Trump Sluts.)

It's too early in the development process for Fox to definitively reveal the show's final format, but they're already spitballing ideas for the mechanics of the crucial dismissal process and market-testing catchphrases; currently under consideration is shifting Trump from his iconic Apprentice boardroom to a set recreating his luxurious bedroom, where the unclothed, freshly serviced mogul will roll over beneath his absurdly high-thread-count sheets to reveal the identity of the week's losing contestant, then send her on her way with a curt, "You're a tramp. Cab fare's on the nightstand."