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We knew that we could count on our glory-hole-probing sister site Fleshbot to update us on the much-buzzed-about career of porn up-and-comer Katee Holmes, whose noble plan to honor her famous namesake by offering up her virtue on camera was announced in Page Six earlier this week.

Holmes (whom we've just discovered bears little resemblance to Tom Cruise's war bride—maybe they could shackle her to a radiator?) and her partners in conspicuous devirginization have established a no-frills web presence to keep the public up to date on the progress of True Diary: I'm a Virgin, a title we're sure will be soon replaced by an unimaginative perversion of the Mainstream Holmes' fine movie work. (Oh, if we must: Porking Mrs. Tingle or Phone Booth Full of Anal Sluts.) As far as we know, Cruise—ready to unleash hell on his wife's signal—hasn't called down the fury of his Scary Hollywood Lawyer or Even Scarier Celebrity Centre Theta-Force upon Katee yet, but if the contents of the new site are suddenly replaced by a PG-rated teaser trailer for Mad Money and a countdown clock ticking off the minutes to its premiere, we can assume that the protective spouse has finally decided enough is enough.