A Tired Spidey Takes A Weekend Off From Setting Records
Welcome to the Second Official Monday Morning of Blockbuster Season! The numbers aren't quite as impressive as last weekend's, but they should hold you over until Shrek shows up on Friday to narcotize the children of America:
1. Spider-Man 3—$60 million
Contacted for comment Sunday evening after the weekend's box office estimates were released, revealing that Spider-Man 3 fell off 60 percent from its record-breaking debut, dependably positive Sony studio chair Amy Pascal offered, "Even in my deepest, darkest, most secret desires I would never have expected to have a movie with the fourth-highest grossing second weekend of all time. I mean, once when I was 12 I wrote a message to my future self that said, '$60 million second weekend! You can do it, Amy!" and locked it away in my Wish Chest, but that doesn't really count. Wow, I'm still floating. This is amazing."
2. 28 Weeks Later-$10 million
Have horror fans already tired of the novelty of fast zombies? Perhaps what the genre needs is a visionary unafraid to take the undead to the next level in terrifying locomotion. We are, of course, speaking about zombies in wheelchairs. Motorized ones.
3. Georgia Rule—$5.879 million
Audiences clearly didn't appreciate the hardships that Garry Marshall had to endure to get this movie into theaters. Rumor has it that the director suffered a series of mild heart attacks directly related to Lindsay Lohan's erratic attendance record , but his obsession with realizing his dream of seeing Jane Fonda sharing the screen with the Herbie: Fully Loaded star wouldn't allow him to quit and attend to his health.
4. Disturbia—$3.5 million
Shia LaBeouf: We're so over this guy. Bring on the next manchild box office hero!
5. Delta Farce—$2.768 million
It is a tribute to the indomitability of the redneck spirit that Larry the Cable Guy found the strength to press on with his movie career after Health Inspector failed to live up to its considerable promise.