Introduction Of Cheaper Canine Call-Rollers To Decimate Assistant Ranks
As if the L.A. dog population isn't already just a bunch of pampered assholes who crap wherever they like and expect the rest of the world to trail behind them and clean up their gilded messes with an attentive, gloved hand, the new PetsCell mobile phone promises to elevate them to another level of privileged insufferability. Soon, dog parks all over town will be filled with the abrasive chatter of cockapoos bragging to their pals out for a jog at Runyon Canyon about the shar-peis* they mounted last night at the Chateau Marmutt, coarsening an already obnoxious local canine culture.
[*As dumb as this conceit is, we're still not gonna make the bitch joke. Even though we suspect that the existence of this object—even more than the Paris Hilton stuff and the wildfires— is a sure sign the Reckoning is finally upon us.]
