Warner Bros. Targets Our Movie-Plundering Neighbors To The North
As do-gooding canine detectives Lucky and Flo crisscross Asia-Pacific, sniffing out tell-tale polycarbonates used in the multibillion dollar movie pirating industry, a menace of similarly devastating proportions lurks right outside our back door. That's right: Canada, our "friendly" 49th-parallel-adjacent neighbor, some of whose citizens conceal their dastardly plans to plunder our precious commodity of easily digestible mass entertainment behind an unsettling wall of maple-syrup-decayed smiles:
Asserting that our neighbors to the north have become major suppliers of pirated pics around the globe, Warner Bros. is taking the unprecedented step of canceling all promotional and word of mouth screenings there until the Canadian government makes it illegal to take camcorders into theaters.
According to Warners, more than 70% of all pirated Warners titles released over the past 18 months originated in Canada.
"Within the first week of a film's release, you can almost be certain that somewhere out there a Canadian copy will show up," said Darcy Antonellis, Warner Bros. senior VP of worldwide antipiracy operations.
It can't be said that Warner Bros. isn't willing to take the extreme precautions necessary to curtail the criminal practices of these Labatt-swilling hoodlums. The sneak preview embargo is almost certain to cause panic in the streets of Sudbury and beyond, bringing the proliferation of wobbily shot handicam movies occasionally interrupted by a passing audience member whispering, "Could you let me oot? I want to buy a Coffee Crisp," to a virtual standstill.
