Shia LaBeouf Threepeats
Take some time to review the weekend box office numbers, the only thing that can temporarily distract you from your Garfieldian dread of Monday mornings:
1. Disturbia—$9.1 million
Over the past couple of weeks, we've celebrated Shia LaBeouf's unexpected run as Biggest Movie Star in America (And Soon, The World! [SFX: his agent's maniacal laughter]), a position further cemented by a third straight week atop the box office. (Hey, a win is a win, even if Hollywood is just pooping out late-April turds before Spider-Man 3 officially kicks off blockbuster season this Friday.) To put The Streak in perspective, consider this utterly meaningful fun fact: Neither Blades of Glory nor 300 managed to stay in first place for three consecutive weekends, and those movies had the competitive advantages of a frequently shirtless Will Ferrell and hundreds of half-naked, glistening Greek warriors, respectively; LaBeouf deserves our admiration for achieving so much without pandering to his audience's base desire to ogle his still-maturing physique.
2. The Invisible-$7.606 million
We know that even Oscar winners have to eat, but couldn't Marcia Gay Harden find something a little better to slum in? She's at least go to keep those chops sharp for The Christmas Cottage.
3. Next—$7.2 million
We were hoping that Next would fare better than it did, as no one loves a feel-good, "Director Bounces Back From Embarrassing Cross-Dressing Prostitution Arrest To Box Office Glory" tale more than we do.
9. The Condemned—$7.075 million
11. Kickin' It Old Skool—$2.8 million
Two things in which the American moviegoing public has little to no interest: Stone Cold Steve Austin and Jamie Kennedy.