• Step One: Keep an open mind, especially when it comes to letting a handsome young stranger install a neon sign in your window to supposedly surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's day. "He looked harmless enough, but I engaged him in innocuous banter to see if he breathed fire. Then I took a leap of faith — not wholly unlike the one I took 17 years earlier when I let my husband into my life — and ushered him inside."
  • Step Two: Fantasize about said stranger's sex life. "I pictured their young skin, unmarred by stretch marks or wrinkles, his fingers reaching, their thighs entwined."
  • Step Three: Channel sexual energy generated into eldersex with husband. "That was nice last night," Paul said, kissing the top of my head." (Hottt.)
  • Step Four: Have more sex. Describe in sickmaking understated older-person fashion. "We tucked the kids into bed early and found our way to each other for the second night in a row."
  • Step Five: Discover that the neon-sign stunt you enabled might have been more along the lines of harassment than grand romantic gesture. "I reconsidered Andrew's story. Had he completely deluded himself into thinking Love was his? Or was he a stalker?"
  • Step Six: Remain mostly unfazed. "It was something to think about as I mopped up the mess."

    La Vie En Rose, Takeout Version [NYT]