This image was lost some time after publication.


The official story has a North Carolina mom offering the international movie star, human rights activist, and video-leak bounty hunter George Clooney a free cup of her children's 25-cent lemonade after he'd posed for a couple of photos, an act that presumably triggered a moment of guilt about his incredible good fortune so crushing that he was induced to wildly overpay for the refreshing drink, despite the fact the move would inevitably result in an unwanted, feel-good story about the generosity of a visiting celebrity. In reality, however, Clooney was the victim of one of the lemonade stand's trio of cherubic, tow-headed grifters, who cried out, "That quarter was going to go to the kids in Darfur, you cheap Hollywood bastard!" as the actor cheerily accepted the gift and began to walk back towards the set, prompting him to return and grudgingly hand over a suitable "donation."