Bahamian Courts Waiting Until Sweeps To Reveal Dannielynn Smith DNA Results
The world waited with bated breath yesterday for a Bahamian judge to take a coin to a Scratch N' Win Paternity Lottery ticket and reveal the three matching babydaddy heads responsible for fathering Dannielynn Smith. But, as should surprise no one in this protracted case of slow-moving Caribbean justice, none such revelation occurred:
The tests results, from a DNA swab of the child, had been widely expected to be revealed during Tuesday's proceedings in a Nassau court.
But the closed-door session ended about 1-1/2 hours after it began without shedding any light on the paternity issue. [...]
Court TV quoted an unidentified source as saying the DNA test results were not revealed in open court.
Whatever the legal issue holding up the proceedings, we commend the courts for their restraint, except of course in that one moment of weakness when a cluster of court security workers held the sealed envelope up to a desk lamp, and had just begun to make out the results beginning, "And the fatherhood goes to..." when the Judge reentered the room, sending the errant officers scattering like waterbugs to the dark corners of the chambers and the unopened document lying suspiciously on the floor.
