Since we've long been fascinated with all things of the Slavic persuasion, we were thrilled when the premiere issue of Russia! magazine ("Since 882 A.D.") landed in the office. Especially since it refers to New York mag contributing editor Michael Idov as "Russia's answer to Dave Eggers"!

Russia! promises to "fill information gaps for curious westerners." And we learned a lot!

For one thing, did you know that Aeroflot still existed? Us neither! But they have a two-page ad hawking their "President" class, which is "for successful people!" Also, they quote Thomas Jefferson as saying, "The most important task of the manager is to put the right person in the right place." Did TJ really say that? Odd!

The Editor's Letter promises that the magazine is the first one that doesn't mention ballet, Leo Tolstoy, or Maria Sharapova. Or is it? Also, it will help us "get" Russia, kind of like an illustrated Not For Tourists guide, and Russian women shave their legs. Who knew.

Did you know that Michael Idov used to be a news anchor for a Russian TV channel, and now he shares an office with Jesse Oxfeld? And contributor Olga Sergienko used to be a sex columnist.

Then there are some random statistics about Russians that we suppose are meant to be "revealing," like that 37 percent celebrate Valentine's Day. And some quotes about Russia from various newspapers from around the world, with sections blacked out. Y'know, like censored? Like how they used to do in the Soviet Union? And some more front-of-the-book stuff that we skimmed. Ooh! Real Estate! They actually went inside a real Muscovite couple's apartment and deconstructed it, all Times Magazine style. They pay 26 rubles a month ($1) for the building entrance lock system, and they have a lot of books. Cool!

Oh and then a two-page spread of a LADA 2105 car, which is totally left over from the Brezhnev era. We kind of want one?

A short essay by Alexander Genis, "Russia's answer to George Plimpton," on Russianness.

A short essay by Michael "Dave Eggers" Idov on something about a bear and a guy fucking a woman from behind.

Mmm, Russian food! How to make stuffed cabbage in a few easy steps. Looks...hearty.

A nicely photographed trip to Komsomolsk, which appears to be somewhere very far away from Moscow and therefore, civilization. The author had this to say: "The people in this far eastern region of Russia are very pleasant. They speak without any accent or dialect, either. But this is understandable, since they used to send a lot of educated people into exile there." Gulag chic!

Another travel piece, on going across the country by train. You get a free lunchbox on trips lasting 12 hours or more! You get "the porridge buckwheat with meat" and "individual sanitary - A Hygenic package." Also, helpful advice: If you bribe the conductor, you won't get a roommate in your sleeping compartment. You also get free unlimited tea.

Ooh, a guide to camping in Russia. We didn't know that Russians have been mad about camping since the 1960s! Apparently bringing along a violin is a requirement, as well as tinned stew and rye vodka.

Then we skipped a few pages, until we got to the scary fashion spread called the "Dacha Diaries," which features a woman in big fuzzy red boots jumping in the air with an ax raised over her head while her friend laughs maniacally, then another where one of them has her pinky in the other one's mouth.

OOH THEN THERE IS A GARY SHTEYNGART TAKEDOWN! WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH OUR GARY? STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

Subscriptions are $15 a year.

Russia! [ReadRussia]