• Jake Gyllenhaal pegs Ben Widdicombe for a drunk with a bad ending coming his way. Jeez, Jake. [NYDN]
  • How was your weekend? Were you hospitalized for dehydration, like Nichole Richie was? In fact, do you know anyone who has been taken to a hospital for hydration? [Us]
  • Josh Hartnett is who we want on our side in a bar dust-up. [NYP]
  • Star Jones goes on Actor's Welfare: SVU. [NYP]
  • Siberia, world's fugliest midtown bar, still open! Owner Tracy Westmoreland currently appearing on Greg Gutfeld's frightening 2 a.m. Fox News Channel chat show designed for odd Republican-stoner crossover audience who enjoy watching David Carr and Emily Gould. (Uh, see you tomorrow, Greg.) [NYP]