Oh, God, today's Lloyd Grove piece on Barbara Walters. The thesis: Barbara was badly damaged during the recent Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell contretemps. The question: Can she survive the age of blabbermouth stardom? The article: A semi-competent rehash of everything you've seen about Walters in the last twenty years, written around a subject who wouldn't talk directly to the author, but who did offer plenty of friends to give quotes. We can handily save you the agony of reading the whole thing.

Lessons you'll learn:

  • Barbara has a recognizable lisp.
  • Barbara was out of her depth during Donald and Rosie's feud.
  • Barbara has lots of famous friends.
  • Barbara had a great idea with The View but, while it made her tons of money, it damaged her credibility.
  • Rosie O'Donnell forced Barbara to back her on the air.
  • "Many at ABC News" believe that Barbara talked trash about Rosie.
  • Barbara Walters has been on TV forever.
  • Diane Sawyer and Barbara are good friends, no matter what anyone says.
  • Even Rosie O'Donnell's e-mails are written in free verse.
  • Lloyd Grove got a woody for Barbara's "seductive purr."
  • Barbara is a survivor: she's not gonna give up, she's gonna keep pushing, she's gonna work harder.
  • You're welcome.
  • Barbara Falters [NYM]