'Blubbering' Judge Seidlin Dumps The Anna Nicole Problem On Her Daughter's Guardian
In the off chance you haven't been furiously clicking the refresh button on your browser for the past hour or tuned into CNN's round-the-clock coverage, we thought we'd update you on the latest developments in the Anna Nicole Smith body custody trial, wherein a seemingly pre-menstrual Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin delivered a weepy-yet-wise ruling that awarded Anna Nicole to none of the major players, but to Dannielynn's guardian, thereby bringing her daughter that much closer what every little five-month-old girl wants: The rapidly deteriorating remains of their birthing vessel:
Blubbering as he announced his ruling, a judge said Thursday he hopes Anna Nicole Smith will be buried in the Bahamas, but he left the decision up to the guardian of her baby daughter.
The judge compromised and gave custody to attorney Richard Milstein, the guardian for Smith's 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn.
It wasn't immediately clear what Milstein would do, but the judge expressed his own preference: "I want her to be buried with her son in the Bahamas. I want them to be together."
Or, as the heavily Bronx-inflected judge actually put it, "Oy wont hah buried wuth hah sun. I want dem to be togethah!" Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead made a joint announcement minutes later, pledging Smith would be laid to rest in the Bahamas, per the judge's wishes. It was an inspiring moment of conciliation, though with the paternity battle still ahead of us, we'd say it's grossly premature to dub it some sort of historic Dueling Babydaddies Peace Accord.