One of the drawbacks to watching MTV's Laguna Beach spinoff The Hills is that you kinda know what's going to happen, because everyone has already reported on it as it occurred in real-time. Like, Lauren's relationship with Nicole Richie's ex Brody Jenner? We know it happens, and also that it ends.

So watching last night, as Lauren and Brody grew creepily closer together, was kind of anticlimactic, because you totally know what's going to happen to them. (Not anticlimactic was the brief, unexplained cameo by Project Runway Season 2's Nick Verreos as Lauren's professor. Weird!) Anyway, this is just our way of saying that Brody gave an interview to Details all about his relationship with Nicole, and the truth has FINALLY come out.

Also! Lauren's friend Heidi's creepy boyfriend Spencer? Brody's manager! There's something ... not quite right about the whole thing, but we're not smart enough to put our finger on it. Anyway, brace yourselves.

In a dialogue exchange that is part of a profile of Jenner in the March issue of Details, Spencer Pratt, described as Jenner's "manager- slash- publicist-slash- agent-slash-stylist" says to Jenner, "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You'll be, like, a fucking hero to America."

The plan, which was devised last August (just when Jenner and Richie did begin dating), was actually part of Jenner's scheme to ride Richie's coattails and become a more familiar name himself - which, as Details points out, proved successful, because here it is interviewing him.

Noooooo! And here we are, blogging about him! It's all too much. Dirty starfucker!

Brody Jenner Tried to Get Nicole Richie to Eat [People]
Nick and LC [Nick Verreos]