As the Anna Nicole Smith tragedy starts to recede from the forefront of our consciousness, some cheering news: Alfred A. Knopf has acquired the rights to the memoir she was working on at the time of her passing. It's called The Year of Magical Drinking, and will also be adapted as a monologue to be performed on Broadway by Kate Winslet. A brief excerpt, in which Anna Nicole reflects on death and impermanence, follows.

One day it seemed important that I reread The Runaway Bunny. I had last read it in junior high for some dumbass paper on anthr-anthropho-ant animals in books, but I wound up giving the English teacher a handjob in the multi-purpose room, so I didn't never finish it. Anyways, it seemed like it might help with the healing and stuff. If you never read it, it's about this bunny what runs away from his momma. But each time he runs somewhere, there his momma is, ready to hug him and love him up. Made me sniffle a bit, thinking about poor Daniel. I'm gonna make damn sure that little Daniellyn always knows her momma's gonna be there, unless there's a shoot or a party or something. Plus I'm gonna keep her lookin' sexy; nothin's more important in those developing years than having a good figure. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Bunny. Anyways, the book ends all happy, with the bunny cuddlin' in his momma's arms.

Now, that ain't the way I remember it ending, but like I said, I didn't finish it. Also, even in junior high, it seems like I was prone to editing the text as I read it. [Howard: What the fuck does that mean?] Like, when I read Gone With the Wind? In my mind, Scarlett shoulda bit that Ashley Wilkes' dick clean off. He weren't no real man like Brett, that's for goddamn sure. But the bunny thing. Seems to me, I recall it ending with the bunny comin' home, lookin' round for his momma and her lawyer/boyfriend, and being all, "Ah, fuck it, I'm just gonna take me a mess of these pills what are here on the counter."

So y'all tell me, is my version better? I sure as shit think so. I mean, it brings up all these important issues about pills on counters and whatnot. It also speaks to the "divide" I was talkin' about earlier [Seriously, Howard? Helloooo?]. If them what died were able to come back, would they know how they died and stuff? Would they smell bad? Would Daniel be pissed at me for letting him die? Or would I be more pissed at him for eating my pills? So many questions.