This image was lost some time after publication.

Quicker than a producer with dreams of made-for-TV glory can yelp, "It's Fatal Attraction meets The Right Stuff, AND...wait for it, wait for it...with adult diapers!" in a pitch room, the rights to a NY Times article about Lisa Marie Nowak story, the astronaut who recently achieved a small amount of notoriety by driving her car 900 miles while wearing the aforementioned adult undergarments to intercept a romantic rival, has been optioned by biosploitation-positive (Pope John Paul II, Identity Theft: The Michelle Brown Story, Murder in the Hamptons) studio Granada America, whose CEO stated the gloriously obvious in making the announcement today:

"The chronicle of Lisa Marie Nowak has had a global impact and contains almost every dramatic element possible," Granada America CEO David Gyngell said Friday. "One could not imagine a more compelling story."

While it is indeed nearly impossible to imagine a more compelling story, we'll have to hope that Granada fights the urge to needlessly embellish it for melodramatic purposes, deciding that inevitable network partner CBS will only be interested if their version of Breaking Orbit: The Lisa Marie Nowak Story features a love-crazed astronaut who ends her diaper-filling 900-mile journey on the site of an imminent shuttle mission, where she's ultimately disarmed of the rocket launcher she's brought along to incinerate both the object of her obsession and her hated competitor mere moments before launch.

UPDATE: As quickly noted in the comments below, the AP has killed this story, stating, "The New York Times says neither the newspaper nor its reporter has or plans a deal with Granada." Still, we're confident that someone's going to announce they've got the rights pretty soon, because this story demands to be told in Movie of the Week format. And soon.